A 31-year-old woman who married her longtime boyfriend just a few months ago says she already feels she may have made “a mistake I can’t undo.” Posting on subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage for advice, she detailed a recent incident that left her questioning the future of her marriage.
Newlywed in a dilemma about her marriage
According to her account, her husband, 30, left on a work trip recently. She refrained from contacting him during his work hours but, when he called at the end of the day, she opened up about her struggles. “I hadn’t worked in four days, and I’m the kind of person who finished her pending work on the day of her wedding, so this was a big deal for me,” she said. She told him she had been feeling “extremely low” and hoped for comfort.
Instead, she says he offered only a few words before saying he was tired and going to rest. A couple of hours later, still feeling down, she texted to ask if he was awake so she could call. An hour later, she received a picture of him drinking beer with friends. “That image broke my heart,” she said. “All I needed was a text or a call to check on me after I told him that.”
Confrontations and cold replies
For the next two days, she claims, he barely checked in—sending only “a couple of short texts, like I didn’t even exist.” Hurt, she sent him a long message accusing him of treating her worse than an enemy after her confession. “Even after I told you l’ve not been doing well mentally for a few days, you’ve treated me worse than how an enemy would treat someone after that confession. I don’t wish a partner like this on anybody. I’ll now treat this marriage like how I treat things that don’t matter to me anymore. I hope you have a safe flight. I’ll be staying home,” she wrote to him.
His reply: “Sure, I don’t really have an answer to all the big words thrown in there. Wishing you well.”
She says that since he returned from his trip two days ago, he has not called or texted her. “It’s like I don’t matter at all,” she wrote, adding that she had entered the marriage full of excitement, even planning to mark each monthly anniversary with a gift or gesture. “I told him I don’t expect gifts from you, just a rose, or even a note OR just an acknowledgement would be enough,” she recalled. “He laughed it off.”
Now, she says, she feels “like I’m in this marriage alone” and wonders if her soulmate is still out there. “If your partner doesn’t even care about your mental health and is so avoidant after telling him I’m depressed, is it worth staying in this marriage?” she asked. “I feel like I have to hold all my love back now because it’s being wasted… If I didn’t have people in my life who’d be heartbroken, I’d walk out of this marriage today without even thinking twice.”
Reactions on Reddit
The post has sparked debate, with many readers urging her to reflect on whether her needs can realistically be met in the relationship.
Multiple people asked her how long she dated the man before marriage and she said a year. “How long did you two date before getting married? Some men just want a stamp of marriage to look noble in the eyes of society. They usually have a girl on the side. He was probably mirroring your love back to you which is why you got married to him, now that he knows you’re here to stay he’s taken you for granted. Dating and marrying a man especially if you’re a financially independent woman in this day and age is like self harm. Maybe talk it out? Don’t go silent. Fight over it if you have to,” wrote a person.
Another person gave their own example: “My ex was also emotionally unavailable man . He was available for others except me. I tried a lot ,he wasted my 6 years and married with another girl without even telling me. GOD saved me.”
A person suggested they should opt for marriage counselling. “Some people are not emotional. They live a practical life and don’t understand the sensitivity. We can’t do anything about it. I have seen such men around me who just want a wife for the sake of family or society or his physical intimacy. They don’t connect or love the wife. Don’t know the reason. It’s better you both go for counseling,” they wrote.
“I think you married a Narc they love bomb at first and then suck up all your love and happiness once you settle. Later only do bread crumbing bare minimum for you to stay till you are longing for love he tries in a small gesture and u again give it another chance. They prey on perfect loving women and bring them down to darkness. Kindly run as soon and as fast as possible because he is not your soul mate. How can one be a soul mate when he can’t even be an emotional mate,” wrote another.
As many suggested, the rude disregard for her feelings by the husband does not bode well for this relationship. The first step for the couple after this episode should definitely be marriage counselling, followed by an assessment of why does he not care to ask after his wife. If love is lost, perhaps walking their separate ways would be better option for both.
Note for readers: This article reflects the individual’s account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.
